Becoming something…

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I feel like I’m trying to escape something, but I don’t know what it is.

Tonight, I hid under the coffee table. This is the dog’s space. He was very confused. Yet, at the very moment that I was trying to get away, I was trying to get closer to the ground.

Are we not just like the dog, trying to recognize one space as constant? This is our grounding. We have evolved as animals, but still need context. Unlike the dog, our being grounded isn’t as easily shattered, we can adjust to some variables but it can still just as easily disappear.

What can we do to stop running?

It may be about turning inward, instead of looking outward. I’ve pulled some interesting bits of information and insight from: Yoga Journal - Yoga Meditation - Teaching Grounded Meditation

These thoughts on meditation provide some great insight into our minds and facing our own moments of wanting to be down with the dog under the coffee table.

+The mind can be our greatest friend or our greatest enemy, the source of many of our problems or the solution to our problems.

+Stages of Meditation Meditation encompasses three distinct stages. The first is self-regulation, in which we teach our students to consciously alter their body-mind functioning and feelings. For example, teach your students breath awareness with the stated aim of inducing relaxation.

Having taught self-regulation, the second stage involves methods of self-exploration, which consist mainly of concentration combined with self-awareness. This allows us to become aware of parts of ourselves that were previously unconscious. Self-exploration techniques develop inner strength and stability.

Ultimately, self-exploration techniques open the door to the pursuit of self-liberation and spiritual growth, the linking of our awareness to higher consciousness. This third stage is called self-mastery, which leads to self-realization.

+…meditation teaches us that we cannot get rid of our problems, that life is inherently problematic and challenging…If we simply seek ecstasy, and hope to avoid sorrow and suffering, then we are actually seeking the loss of ourselves. The ultimate aim of meditation is to remain grounded in self-awareness under all conditions of joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, gain and loss.

I hope these thoughts have been helpful. I have tried to start my mornings with some quick yoga exercises. Today, I didn’t. A lesson learned. You can actually find some simple exercises online to get your day started (youtube). You could even start with five minutes in the morning attempting to focus on nothing but your breath (Tantric Breath Exercise or Three Breathing Exercises). Breathing should bring a level of self-awareness, so making noise while breathing is encouraged. I promise you will notice a difference with your day. You can check out what I do each morning here.

Here we are again, the re-run. Jesus up on the cross and Easter plays out again. I am Catholic, but this day is of mixed meaning. Recent revelations have me feeling like the most religious in my family. This is odd. I spent my middle school years collapsing under the pressure of my false understandings of my religion, rejecting it soon thereafter. Much of this pressure coming from the understandings and faith taught to me by my parents.

Today, my partner and I sat and watched a History Channel account of Jesus and his life. He wanted to do something “Jesusy.” This was followed by a viewing of the first Austin Powers movie, International Man of Mystery. A traditional Easter celebration.

Turns out Jesus had a fro and the 90’s brought an end to shagging freely. Seemingly eyeballed by my ancient feeling religiosity and present idealism of sexual freedom, I’ve spent too long crucified by my own belief in others ability to support me. Esteem through sexuality, err sex, and guidance. False guidance that has me feeling much about my sexual history in way that I used to criticize the faithful.

As I watch this re-run and it’s earlier than expected this year, the story is repeated and unchanged, for a reason. The collision of religion that had become overly institutionalized full of wrongdoings with its people. The equality of both, brings the collapse of both.

Refreshed in belief, I am infant. Restrained in sexual self-exploitation, I am immature.

With all my faults in deconstruction, I now understand the power of something greater. The power of something to support me and finding the power to be that something.

Does our society make it hard to feel humbled? Can we feel humbled to something other than money and power? How?