Becoming something…

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I know it sounds a bit messy to put mayo into kissing, but recently Heinz discovered that in fact might be true. They pulled an ad in Britain (see below) after over 200 complaints to the government about its content. The ad contained two guys kissing after the stereotypical mum-dad morning “send the kids to school” routine. Their reasoning was that the humor was a miss for “all sides of the debate.” The ad having not shown in the U.S. still caused some local reaction. O’ Reilly, our bestest friend, decided to make further comment on the situation by bringing it across the pond to talk about the “gay thing.” Apparently he thinks mayo commercials should be devoid of homo-kisses. Something tells me O’ Reilly, save the fact that it wasn’t even an American ad, wasn’t Heinz’s target consumer.

I, personally, love it. It was caring and a bit masculine at the same time. Last night I watched a 30 Days episode on gay parenting, specific focus on adoptive families. The hosting couple was part EMU professor (Dennis), so I felt extra inclined to watch (Go Ypsi!). In both these situations the argument seems to be that we should be protected from people stepping on each other’s toes. There is a significant difference between belief and action. Preventing a family from adopting or preventing a gay family from being represented in a television ad prevents action and expression on an equal platform. This is wrong. The argument that putting it out there, via television ad or legalizing same-sex adoption, steps on the opposition’s moral toes is a bit off. The former is an extension in to my own personal space and rights, the latter does nothing to prevent free thought or action. Is personal and moral discomfort reason enough to pull an ad or prevent gay adoption? To the point, we actually do sue in civil court for these types of things but I feel like that even carries of level of absurdity with it too.

The ad:

O’ Reilly (they show the ad again, he commentary is :51 sec in):

Link to 30 Days episode - The show is installment #4

Are adults made? A recent article by Kay Hymowitz from City Journal suggests something about young men today in our society:

Today’s single young men hang out in a hormonal limbo between adolescence and adulthood.

Child-Man in the Promised Land by Kay S. Hymowitz, City Journal Winter 2008

The suggestion is that for various social reasons, we are bypassing the previous generations’ milestone of marriage and a family when we supposedly begin our adult lives with the start of our careers. That first main job and first step now equals independence. Am I socially stunted, stuck in a culturally locked puberty (video games, the internet, and career changes)? I’m not in college anymore and much of that activity has gone by the wayside. There isn’t much like the structure of a full-time job, other personal pursuits, and a growing long-term relationship to have other things take favor. Yet, I still long for the long nights, long papers, and long haphazard days.

My relationship and new job is the cornerstone to a growing foundation that I think is moving me beyond this immature middle ground. Priorities change and whether or not I like to admit it, I’m heavily invested in both. This is by choice. This implies that this stage is under our own self-control. Is it important to take action?

Action would be contrary to what is rewarded in our culture; action which requires forward thinking loses to the many short-term excited battles our cultures supports. How can the weekend (or even every day) be one of exciting battles if you are settled into a life track, one long battle with something or short ones with quick feedback and results? Immediate gratification is clearly our cultural winner. It usually takes an event or emotional commitment to be able to recognize the importance of the former, long-term action, possibly to just return back afterwards.

Even today, they say SYM (Single Young Males), Hymowitz’s term, or this millennial generation in general is distracted by many new things, a world of instant gratification. Take your college life for example.

[Jones, S] (2002) indicated that 72% of all students check their email daily, and 26% of college students use instant messaging on an average day. A similar survey in 2005 found that 83% of adults in the 18-29 age range participate in online activities [Demographics of Internet Users] (2007 ).

Digital-Distractions

We learned in and with this environment. Conveniences have become crutches.

So what of women? I don’t necessarily think they are excluded from this phenomenon but they sure are talking about it. The child-man article continues,

In Internet chat rooms, in advice columns, at female water-cooler confabs, and in the pages of chick lit, the words “immature” and “men” seem united in perpetuity…Men feel threatened by female empowerment, these thinkers argue, and in their anxiety, they cling to outdated roles.

Child-Man in the Promised Land by Kay S. Hymowitz, City Journal Winter 2008

The CEO phenomenon is one example of the ever growing worth and exchange value of a single individual. Females with this power, on this scale, is historically rare; they have a right to enjoy it, even in the face of the above mentioned masculine uncertainty. It would be wrong to not point out that only twelve of Fortune 500 companies are headed by female CEOs, which debunks Hymowitz’s argument above.

I’m not sure if I see it as gender specific because I feel like many women face the the same cultural pressures that us males do.

Are these trends any different from the activities of young women who are often unwilling to surrender personal freedoms to be “shackled” by motherhood? The Sex and the City generation who see marriage as an anchor and drag on their personal lives, who embrace disposable relationships and are obsessed with designer clothing?

Editorial: Beware the Child-Man?

I’ll admit my cravings and notice that I see many peers expressing their freedom. I even would go as far to say, because of a different social experience in my youth while dealing with my sexuality, I am even more immature in certain areas. My immaturity is supported. More than ever we are rewarded for growth of self and not of family or relationships if it is in the way.

So, do we continue because we can?

We all may need to read more, converse more, and look at how thin we are spread in our social world (especially if it’s virtual). I keep wondering if I should be focusing harder or caring less? I am not a SYM, the relationship disqualifies me of that title, but the cute voices on my shoulders are both telling me that the SYM life is calling. Most of us now have the freedom to develop in the context of something, say a relationship, or develop outside of that structure.

The child-man, gay-infant, and adult-girl are real. Stuck playing video games, exploring deep relationships for the first time, and keeping time with image and power, we are our own segment of society. We will become a generation around it. It feels good, but I feel detached. Our 30s will come soon, but should our goal be to cum as much as possible before it does?

Adults don’t emerge. They’re made.

Child-Man in the Promised Land by Kay S. Hymowitz, City Journal Winter 2008

The Cat Empire - The Cat Empire

If there was a balance between intensity and mellow this Aussie group has the tones and beats to wow.  There is a bit of salsa influence, ears appreciate the use of classic instruments.

The songs roll through nights out and days inside the mind.  They don’t shy from moral exploration that mimic the confusion and passion in youth.  So the ability to relate is easy.

This album found me when I was in the middle of a intense transition thanks to happening upon it with a friend.  It resounded in me and still does.

The third track of the album, The Lost Song, goes…
 ”I had a plan but never finished it and I’ve been searching for the thought and I’ve been searching in a haze I try all days to remember it but now the blueprint in my mind is gone my mind forgot the color of direction and my eyes they see the hands that could have built that coulda constructed the empire in my mind, the empire I’ll never find, I had a plan but that was where it ended.”

The urges to…
booze it up
celebrate
save
stand up
fight
cry
question
sex up a situation
settle down
be loud
be quiet

Much like this album, we can experience it all in one day.  We wish we knew the answer to control it.  This album helps me stop and embrace it.  Take some time and listen to these songs, maybe everything happening at once can be just as fun as this album.

It is hard to define your own empire after you have lost it to the transition that happened yesterday, the day before, and etc.

Missed the news?  Follow these leads and hopefully you’ll be back on track.  This is an array of news that caught my eye.

Debating the epidemic of painkiller abuse.

Skip work and make love for your country.

Rethinking the age of sexual consent.

Hounding the Bloggers

The Limits Of Non-Violence In Burma

What Makes a Monk Mad

Radiohead Album Price Tag: ‘It’s Up to You’

Face of the Day

Losing A Generation?

The number of young people who do not consider themselves Christians is growing, as is the hostility toward Christianity expressed by the next generation of non-Christians, claims a new book from David Kinnaman of Barna.org.

The Daily Dish

I think we all have within us particularly strong religious sentiments these days.  The voice in America is a resoundingly religious one.  I know we can’t do much about our founding fathers but, bless their soul, they impacted our nations life-course and therefore ours too. 

You either are or you aren’t.  I’m not even necessarily talking religious or not but more specifically Christian or not.  Even our democratic presidential candidates are fighting over their carefully planned nuances of religious practice.

And yes, I FEEL disdain.

I am Catholic.  It feels odd saying it though.  I was Catholic, then not.  Next I was atheist, then agnostic, then spiritual, Taoist, and now back to Catholic.  Yet, it still feels as confusing as ever.  The main reason why I rejected Catholicism was because of the seemingly strong rejection of homosexuals, at least on the surface.

Did you know that I even find myself really agreeing with The Secret? Have you seen the movie or read the book?

This many times is the innate struggle of our generation.  To broaden, I really feel like this rejection, reception, and reconciliation cycle applies to anyone who is in the process of becoming something.  As a cultural root, unless you have arrived, we are stuck rejecting, embracing, or something-ing our religious feelings.

Can you see the tentacles stemming from everything, especially in our decided search or non-search for spirituality?  I think it’s time to stop sprawling.  Reaching out for the answers might not be what actually makes the most sense.  Look inward, aren’t ALL of these feelings coming from the same place?  Truth isn’t going to feel awkward or uncomfortable but should feel as simple and easy as possible.  The answers are what won’t come easy.  So we need to decouple ourselves from whatever camp we find ourselves in, religious or not.  You will find there might be whole chunks of information to grab instead of picking up years of broken, scattered, over-discussed and analyzed information.

I share in our struggle to find restraint, especially in a world pressuring us to sprawl for answers.