May 07

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Post from Brazen Careerist - Penelope Trunk with some personal commentary, quotes from What Does Somebody Have to Do to Get a Job Around Here? by Cynthia Shapiro

1. There’s one trick to all trick questions.

“All trick questions, even the really scary psychological questions, are crafted so that you will give a negative answer.”

The truth is that positive people are hired more often. And in an interview, people can show that they are that type of person by intentionally presenting their information in the most positive way.

So get all your bitching about your career out of your system before you get to the interview. And each time you are inclined to say something negative, change it or leave it unsaid. Once you get hired, there will be plenty of time to open the spigot of animosity if you need to.

Me, “A tip I often remember is that you never want an answer to be more that 15% negative. Spin it positive and talk a lot about what you have gained and learned from the situation. Admission can be a positive trait but doing so without showing progress will be worse than not saying anything at all.”

But you work so hard on presenting yourself in your best light in the interview – why not attempt to extend that best you to your whole life instead of those two hours of interviews? People will like you better at work, and your positive outlook will help you to make all your experiences in life better.

2. A thank-you note is too late to express enthusiasm for the job.

“A hiring manager’s mind is made up in the first twenty minutes of an interview, and often nothing can be done to change that.”

During this twenty minutes, most hiring managers are subconsciously screening for enthusiasm. Because people want coworkers who are excited about their job. Ironically, though, most people who are interviewing for a job go into that interview unsure if they want the position, and they tell themselves they’ll make a decision based on the interview.

But if you decide to be enthusiastic about the job at the end of the interview or, worse yet, when you write the thank you note, you are way too late.

To solve this problem, go into the job convinced that you want it. Be enthusiastic about the job and get the job. You may decide later that you don’t want it. That’s fine. But this way you’ll have that decision to make. Note that this means the interview is not the time to ask difficult, probing questions about the company. Save those for after you have a job offer. Ask questions that convey a positive, sunny attitude toward your interviewer and the company. That will get you an offer.

3. No one will tell you that you’ve made a mistake.

“No one will tell you that your resume wasn’t up to par; it will simply land in the trash. No one will tell you that you said something that scared the interviewer during a phone screen; you’ll just never be able to get that person on the phone again.”

Part of the reason is that you never get feedback is it’s too high risk to tell candidates what they do wrong: There is little benefit to the company, since they are not going to hire you anyway, and there is the remote chance that you will bring up a discrimination lawsuit.

The other reason no one will tell you what you did wrong is because it takes extra energy to take time to help someone, and we can’t do that with everyone, so we help the people who look like the strongest performers. It’s like that axiom, “the rich get richer” but in this case, “the best candidates get better.” How to fix this in your own life? Ask for a lot of help from people who are in a position to help you.

Me, “Send it to a stranger or give it to that coworker you don’t speak to much. A viewpoint you can appreciate as objective and not personal will give you good insight. Almost more importantly, give you a clean emotional reaction to the changes you will actually make.”

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Jan 21

I went to work forgetting I have purpose. I have skills, opportunities, and my position in life to work towards something, even if it’s nothing.

Beginning a bit depressed, today wasn’t supposed to be the day that I heard inspiration and absorbed it instead of just listening to it.

A man named Jeff Johnson (BET’s Cousin Jeff) spoke as our Martin Luther King Jr. keynote. He moved and reached me.

To paraphrase and summarize in my own words, isn’t the same. I still wanted to leave you with a message.

No one was born a leader or without potential. We also cannot be things that we aren’t. At this time, we are who we are and we have what we have. Use what you have and use your position. To posture yourself into higher self, something “to be,” instead of something that “is” is falsifying your talents. Wake up from your dream and act. Words are old and can act as weights. Create your own words, story, and purpose. I hope you have the strength to be open to your own purpose. Purpose doesn’t exist in what you think is supposed to be, it is in your current situation, your now. Be now, feel now, and use now, because now ain’t forever.

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Jan 11

Naturally, as a blogger, I’m spending some of my time learning or reading up on how to be one. Like any new thing, it’s a challenge. On a blog I read pretty regularly, ProBlogger.Net, there was a post very recently called “Don’t Just Have a Blog - Learn to Think Like a Blogger.” I realized the lessons shared there, of which the author, Darren Rowse, pulled from his personal trainer, can be generalized in a way that can help anyone in any endeavor. It has taken me a while to get into a groove with blogging and I’m still not completely there. The key is that most things that we do naturally were on some level learned. Creating habit out of what you eventually expect to come naturally takes some creative work.

Don’t just live - Learn to think as though you are living

1) Goals and Planning - Use goals and numbers to help quantify the changes you are looking to make or to help acknowledge the life you are already leading. For blogging it’s deadlines, number of words, when I hit publish, and things like this. In life, it might be counting your steps to take ownership over a route you have had trouble taking or counting towards or away from different goals.

2) Structure and Routine - This is the movement from numbers into internalizing the life you are living and hope to live. Finding this rhythm is important. You will meet your goals and plan intuitively by the very nature of it fitting into your every day life. At first it means creating the rhythm for yourself, with the essential elements of your life structured together (including the goals you met before and lessons learned from them). As it develops it will change and morph, but this foundation will provide a blueprint any time life steers you off course. Done right, you can get a sense of going with the flow.

3) Spend time with other people who live life the way you want to live life - The long winded title for how to socialize yourself. We are what we eat and we are who we are with. Since we are the culmination of our social core, cultivate it. Make it representative of your daily rhythm. Find harmonies and combinations that make (1) and (2) easier. If you began with goals that came naturally to you, then this will just seem like an easy boost. Use this as an indicator to see if you might need to reevaluate.

4) Education - Learn who you are. Learn what you want to be. If you surround yourself with the necessary information, you will always have the continued capacity to act. I have an Economics/Business degree, so I have subscriptions to The Economist and Fortune. I write poetry, so I read poetry and subscribe to Poets and Writers. There are different ways to create a learning space. So latch onto a project at work, talk to the right friends, read a related book, and dig dig dig…

5) Experimenting -
If at first you don’t fricassee, fry fry a hen. Keep going and keep doing. You won’t make unconscious quick decisions unless you’ve made them a hundred times before. Take everything that you are are getting from the steps before and USE IT! Doing it different makes you more versatile as a human and at a task. What you once agonized about, will become just another trick up your sleeve.

6) Making Mistakes - Do it wrong! I’m not wishing poorly on you, but just recognize that a mistake is a chance to learn. Live in the now, not in the past or future. Hold onto a mistake in a way that you use it as a stepping stone but not as though you are being stoned.

Some of this will be hard! Don’t be afraid to settle and make some decisions.

In time as I did these things (and mainly as I just practiced blogging) my thinking changed. As it did so did my blogging itself.
Darren ProBlogger.Net

So I’ll conclude with,

In the time you live your life, just your everyday life, your thinking will change. As will your life change too.

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Nov 30

1) Think selfishly.
2) Think selflessly.
3) Combine the two and think of the relationship

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Oct 28

You sit on your couch watching TV. Thoughts start filling your head about what you could be doing instead. You also take a moment not to think about much at all, which would seem to be more of the point of sitting there in the first place. Now, depending on how you look at it, thinking about nothing is a very selfish act. You are putting your non-thought, your personal resources, into doing nothing, except maybe consuming a commercial. This is selfish. Don’t you have the right to experience this? With how busy things can get, doing nothing is many times a recommended vacation.

This doesn’t bother most of us because most people accept this type of behavior. What seems to matter most for voters is the person they will vote for not necessarily the policies they support. How often has a friend said, “I just vote the one that looks good?” If you swear you don’t have friends like that, think again. More than you might like to believe, voting decisions seem like well intentioned educated votes, but we know that many Americans vote on a single issue (See: Single-Issue Voters: Will they make a difference on November 2nd?). We support individuality, personal growth, and independent decisions. If we fantasize about committed relationships then we are ignoring that we are constantly exposed to positive images of the “single life” and mainly negative, although sometimes hilarious, ones about settled committed relationships. All that struggle can’t be fun. Plus, if you want to ignore yourself and others to watch TV or vote for the hot one you are less likely to offend someone if you aren’t connected to or with others.

So why not stay alone? I speak from experience and can say that people don’t always impede on your life and to think like this is just living in the future and ignoring the present. People can enhance and help you grow faster in your experiences. Even if a free-spirited person who “does her own thing” and “goes where the wind takes her,” this experience must include people, even if in their absence. Every individual person is a part of our social web, meaning that we can’t exclude their affect on ourselves.

What am I trying to say? You must put yourself first, alongside others. Put yourself first and get to know yourself, take some time away. Watch some TV and forget but don’t forget that your absence has an impact on your social web too. This is where you need to begin to focus not on how many friends you have or don’t have but on what friends or significant-others you have or don’t have. Meeting someone new is at the cost of getting to know someone you know better. What is more valuable? You have to weigh the two, the value of a particular meeting vs. the value of knowing more about an existing connection. These people are both variables in a decision, to ignore the human side of an equation is to ignore 100% of the value/dis-value that may exist. The impact of everyone around you and in contact with you is unmeasurable. Don’t think too much, focus, and invest wisely. You need to recognize the value in non-value. If I were to lose a friend, I would feel emotion but forget to recognize what changed because of it, which is change, or value, from something of seemingly non-value.

If you have a infinite desire for friends + significant-others then you have no one trained in being close to/with you. Infinity value becomes a total near zero. If you focus your desire (focus is not an exact number in this case but a direction of thought towards the best total value) for friends + significant-others by acknowledging other people and spending time on a previous connection, there will be ups and downs but a significantly larger net value.

The journey toward a core interpersonal discovery:
Putting yourself first, with another.
Putting yourself first, alongside others.
Putting yourself first, alongside everything.
Being first and selfish (in a good way) because of and with everything and recognizing it.

I wish you the best of luck in discovering your social core. Whether it’s significant-others or great friends and five or thirty core individuals, stop thinking big and focus small. Surround yourself with a number of mental live-ins, they may live on the other side of the globe or in your bed, but with everything you know they are there to stay, one way or another.

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Oct 22

Don’t you feel like some things have been compromised. To get through life, what gives? what takes? This folder might be a bit of coincidental metaphor but share a piece of the real drama of getting the tools for success (as you define it) in life.

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